In Which I get More Cranky and Temperamental as I Age

This morning, I woke up and my favorite drinking vessel wasn't clean, and I was pretty much like, "welp, I guess I'm just gonna cancel today, then." And then of course, I was thinking about how messed up that is. Like, get over it, yo. There's at least 3 other glasses in the cupboard that you like to use. JUST USE ONE OF THEM. But two are too tall for my one-cup-8-fl-oz of coffee, and the other one... just isn't my cup. It's not my coffee cup, anyway. It's my milk glass, if I ever feel the urge to drink something that was squeezed out of a living cow, like that's a normal thing to do.
I don't have a lot of patience for people who are capable of solving their problems, yet refuse to do so--and as a bonus, they continue to go on and on about how awful this [whatever] is. And I know I'm being That Guy. For crying out loud, these mug things are practically free from ThinkGeek, just order another one! But then I'm like, except they don't stack, and we already don't have enough cupboard space... THAT GUY. So then my solution is, well, I'll just make sure it's in the dishwasher and the dishwasher gets run every night (OMG, it just occurred to me that I could have just taken the mug out of the dishwasher and washed it by hand. Yup, THAT GUY.) Anyway, but the reality of the situation is, for as much as I'm like, 'I'm gonna FlyLady the fuck out this shit! We gon' be sweeping and wiping counters and taking out trash and running the dishwasher every night as part of our before bed routine!' ... we don't actually always hit those goals--which is fine, except then I don't have my stupid mug in the morning. And then, because I made that resolution, I'm mad about my mug AND the fact that we didn't accomplish our (what's the opposite of "lofty"? humble?) goals the night before.
SO. I'm just gonna order a second fucking mug. Here I go. I just have to hit the $75+ mark so I can get free shipping. Because if I don't take advantage of that offer, it's like I was just robbed. Much better to pay an extra $65+ for stuff I wasn't actively seeking out.
My mug, BTW:

Photo courtesy of ThinkGeek, because mine is in the dishwasher, obvs.

Going Back On The Coffee

So, I recently gave up the coffee, because my body doesn't know what to do with dairy *or* caffeine, and starting my day with an urgent and explosive bowel movement isn't really my jam.
In spite of that, I was still havin' hella tummy trouble, tho. So last night at the store, I was like, fuck it, and bought some damn coffee. I figured that, maybe if I was more vigilant about taking my meds that are supposed to calm my bile ducts or whatever (or ... actually I think it boosts them, 'cause they don't work right or something?), I'd be all right.
Today: had some coffee and I was OK, but then I wanted a Reese's PB cup, so I knew I'd better take my meds, which I did. Had a RPBC without incident (so far). Except, like, 47 seconds ago, I got a massive fucking headache, and I'm all, WTF? and then I remembered that the trade-off for not shitting my pants is an excruciating headache -- not quite migraine, but def 'I-need-to-go-lie-down'-caliber.
I *know* the joke about the side effects of meds being worse than the ailment they're treating has been done to death, but srsly, yo. Like, why haven't we fixed that? It's like a fucked-up fairy tale. Sure, you can have legs, but every fucking step is gonna feel like walking on knives. You can either go out with your friends and just clench your bootyhole tight and sweat out the waves of nausea, or you can take some meds to prevent shitting yourself, but then you just have to instantly go to bed for the night. Even if it's only like, 2 pm. What the actual fuck.



Addendum: My kids and I were playing "Million Dollars, But..." yesterday, and one of 'em was: "Million dollars, but every time you curse, you grow an extra body part." Well, fuck. So every time I've cursed since then (about 837 times), my kids were like, "Mom! you just grew an extra leg*!" (*or whatever). Just writing this damn post would have caused me to grow like 32 extra body parts. What a nightmare that'd be.